I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
