I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
