is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
