I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
