I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
