Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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