they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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