That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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