dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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