Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize