Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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