It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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