What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
