Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
