Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
