it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
