I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
