bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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