I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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