U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize