he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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