I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
