I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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