I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
