Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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