We won't sleep together?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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