I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
