Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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