I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
