Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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