There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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