Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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