i barfeds in our rink
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
