I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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