bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
