remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
