i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
