you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
