All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
