Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize