Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
