a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
as a side note pls kill me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
