my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
