Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
