Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
