hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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