I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
