so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
