first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize