Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
