I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
