Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
