I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize