So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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