I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
