i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
