I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
