TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize